My Kitchen Experiment Went Amok

There was one famous time in my family when I basically abandoned a pasta recipe with zucchini and cacao nibs. I did not taste the cacao nibs before adding an overly generous portion to the pasta. I told my kids we were having chocolate pasta for dinner. It was anything but good and still gets a laugh around the table.

Since then, I usually adjust as I go. When I went to make my lunch one day last week, I was in a hurry and was running out of time before I had to be somewhere. I grabbed a mason jar, threw in a handful of arugula, chopped up some cucumber and tomato, added a nectarine, and topped it with a couple of big spoonfuls of cottage cheese. I decided it needed some seasoning. I wanted something salty and red. I went with smoked paprika without thinking twice. So much for my “adjust as I go” system.

This week I trusted my instincts in the kitchen, and it didn’t work out so well. This was a very low-stakes situation: it was one lunch. I love to read recipes, and I have an entire bookshelf full of cookbooks that I browse for inspiration (I know that sounds contradictory coming from someone who does not follow recipes as written). I find it stressful to follow a recipe, and it always takes me much longer to cook when I do. That said, I do follow recipes when I am baking, which I think of more as chemistry than cooking.

So many of my clients come to me and tell me they don’t know how to cook or they don’t like to cook. There is no right or wrong way to move through the kitchen. Most of us are not trying to cook our meals on a mass scale or for reproducible results like a restaurant or cookbook authors. I like to dig into the why behind what they are feeling. Is cooking causing stress or anxiety? Is the issue overwhelm, not having a teacher or model, not having a cookbook they trust? Do they not like going to the grocery store? Is planning the obstacle? Is it based on something that happened a long time ago, like criticism? Is it a lack of skill, touching raw ingredients, or that they don’t like following directions? Is it something else?

How do you feel most comfortable finding your way around the kitchen? Are you a recipe follower, or more of an experimenter? Do you feel comfortable in the kitchen, or does cooking stir up a lot of feelings?